The enemy wants us alone
I am going to share something that happened this weekend. Something that was alarming in its effectiveness and revealed the way the enemy undermines the power of relationships in our lives. I wondered how children could choose the world over a loving family.
I saw how easy it is to lose one’s family to the non-stop political battlefield.
Here’s what happened
I was having a talk with one of my teens about the importance of looking at both sides of an argument and not blindly following biased news sources. My oldest teen decided to jump in with pro-trans talking points, which ALWAYS go sideways in my home.
This conversation was no different. Arguments about science vs common sense. Protecting children from the ideology vs helping children accept differences. Disparate views on whether or not trans-focused education belongs in schools. My children have been homeschooled for the past 8 years, but some of the world still seeps in by way of social media.
At one point, my teen completely dismissed my views with an edge of disrespect that was so out of character that everyone else (3 siblings and her dad) took a visible mental step back. The whirlwind of emotions concerning this hot-button political topic filled our home, and the rest of the family felt like they were sitting on the edge as helpless bystanders.
My immediate reaction was a holy rage that poured out as an emotional onslaught that checked her audacity while reminding her that I am not a child and not her equal. The entire interaction was fundamentally transformative.
Was this the moment the child became the young woman? Was this the moment that would irrevocably break the love of nearly 2 decades of trust, love, and care? Not quite a watershed moment, but dangerously close to it. We backed away into our proverbial corners.
The heaviness seemed like a silent killer draining the life out of nearly 20 years of love and care. Rather than remain stuck in the realization that this moment represented a break in the relationship, I picked up my pen and wrote my daughter a letter. I, perhaps for the first time, told her why I chose her name.
With all the love of a mother who wished she could turn back time, I owned the moment fully. I told her that her name was an intentional decree in the earth of who she would be. God makes no mistakes, and who she is in this moment is exactly who she was meant to be. I could sense her regrets and her sadness in the way she disrespected me as a person and as her mother.
She was struggling with what to do and how to handle it. My first was to comfort her and hold up the mirror so she could see her God-given identity. I showed her that her nature is not a flaw - but a powerful force for change and expansion. I explained that allowing the world to harness her power robs her of the destiny that God has for her.
I encouraged her to keep her fire and to never play small. Keep standing for what she believes in. Keep defending and doing it from a place of love. But, I also reminded her to direct that fire with wisdom, tact, and respect. We hugged, and second by second in that embrace, we released the things we could not go back and change. We let go, we leaned in, and we healed of the hurt.
The enemy is after the relationships.
It’s in our unity that we are strong. I made a commitment last night that there would never be a day that we as a family choose separate tables for the holidays. We need one another. Now, more than ever. We need connection and community. Identity-based politics are the weapons of mass destruction that the enemy is using to break generational blessings and lasting legacies.
If you surrender your relationships to the chaos of this world, the enemy can begin to pick away at your foundation. This is why the sheppard goes after the one. The wolves lay in wait for the one who isn’t protected by the herd. Being isolated and alone is the fastest path the enemy has to keep you overwhelmed, distracted, and separated from those you love.
But some relationships are not meant to continue
This is not for every relationship. Some end as they are painful, toxic, and unhealthy. Understanding when a relationship has reached its natural conclusion and when it’s destructive to force things to continue is essential. People grow, and relationships change. This is natural. Having a deep relationship with God and healthy relationships in your life will help you discern when it’s time to let go and when it’s time to hold on a little longer.
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My twin sister recently dropped me and blocked me abruptly because of who I voted for (she’s always known where I stood and why). I answered many questions from regarding my choice but never judged or disqualified her opinions. This devotional is spot on in discussing the enemy is after our families. Even though she isn’t a Christian believer, I’ve been praying for her and that the truth be revealed to her. I will continue praying for her.
God is our Shepherd, but I think God allows us as mothers to be the shepherd over children. My daughter and I have had times of disagreements that caused tears and hurt, God gave me the staff to bring her back into the fold, and we made amends. The enemy is like a wolf, as you said, waiting to tear that weak one away from the fold to rip it apart, but as long as God allows us to take the staff and pull them back in with love, forgiveness, and compassion we will be strong.